Transitions to Marriage

All my life I was told not to partake in any act that would arouse sexual feelings toward another person.  And I did a really good job at following that rule.  However, once you get married that rule no longer applies.  But for me it was very hard to go from no sexual relationship to the door is now open for you to try new things.  But so many questions ran through my head as intimacy was something that I was told not to engage it, but never taught.  I wondered, what was allowed in a marriage relationship?  Were there even rules for me to think about?  

Since I have been married all those questions have been answered.  But I shouldn't have had to wait until I was married to know the answers.  As Latter day saints, we too often stress the do not but don't explain the dos, and don’t explain the whys.  We need to know that a sexual relationship is healthy and needed for a marriage to work.  But that we need to wait until marriage to engage in such activities.  Why then are youth told that sexual relations are so bad all their life?  We need to remember to tell our youth that the feelings that they have towards someone of another gender when they are young is okay.  It is not bad to feel physically attracted to someone.  However, it is bad to act on those feelings outside of marriage.  

Now that I am married and understand more than ever the importance of an intimate relationship I wish that I had been taught at a young age to appreciate the wait and not just be told no.  I wish that I had understood the companionship and love that accompanies an intimate relationship.  I have had to learn through trial and error something that could have been explained to be as a 16-year-old. 

I know that within a marriage intimacy is something that must be talked about and discussed, but we need to make sure that more young adults know going into marriage, the whys, so that they can appreciate the ‘do nots’.