The subject in-laws can be a sensitive one. As you want to maintain love between you and your in-laws but you also want to make sure that everyone knows what the boundaries are. This can be hard... for me and my husband my parents are very understanding when we can't make it to a family function or when we don't have enough money to make a trip. They don't try and guilt us into coming anyway. However, I often see my father in law doing this. He is very much a family man and wants all of the kids to spend time together and to be with the family. But when we live halfway across the country and are still working and going to school full time we dont always have the ability to come visit.
I am sure that I am not the only one who struggles with this as I know several of my husbands siblings feel the same way when it comes to their dad. However, even though this is a hard situation to be in I still respect him and want him to know how much we love the family and wish we could come. Taking the time to explain ourselves has been a huge help. When my father in law knows how much we are making and that we can't afford to come up as often as he would like he is a little more understanding. It is still a struggle but life gets better.
Another thing that you have to worry about with parents in general is not letting go. Some people may struggle with confiding in their spouse. You have spent your whole life talking to your parents it may not be easy to talk to your spouse and that is completely understandable. But, part of being married means that you need to your spouse. That doesn't mean you cant get help from your parents it just means that you need to talk to your spouse first.
There is a lot that couples need to learn and figure out in the first few years of marriage. But once those things are figured out life is much easier. You don't have to stress about the holidays and you know that you will always be there for one another.
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