I think that one of the most difficult things in marriage to understand and appreciate, is communication. Until you know how to communicate and how to work through problems in a way that is loving and understanding. Nothing will ever be solved. In my own marriage, I have seen how good communication has strengthened and blessed my marriage. But I have also seen how bad communication or even a lack of communication causes a lot of hurt feelings and many misunderstandings that don’t need to be there.
I know we have all done it, only listened so that when it is our turn to talk we can give our 2 cents. I know in my life more often than not, I just want someone to listen to me and assure me that good will come. I do not need a lecture and I do not need your advice. Here is a funny, but good video about the difference in communication between men and women.
VIDEO: Communication between a man and a women
Another thing that can be hard on a marriage is too much negativity, we are so quick to tell our spouse what is wrong with them or what we want them to do better, and we forget to love them. In my marriage, I make it a goal to thank my husband for things every day. I have thanked him for working hard in his job, for getting good grades in school, for supporting me at the gym, or for something as simple as getting me a glass of water. Dr. John Gottman says, that in marriage you need to have a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative things. I can tell you from personal experience that is not easy. But when you look back on your day and can think of all the good, the bad doesn’t seem to have such a negative effect.
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